We were at the jewellery store about a year ago, searching for the perfect diamond ring for my brother to present to his true love on their upcoming solemnization. As we were admiring through the dazzling jewel collection, my daughter (at that time she was about 4years old), started tugging at me and calling out to me to get my attention. Soon it broils to a tantrum. I knew this could only mean one thing - she wants something.
My husband assumed she wanted candies from the shop next door. So he took her there to get her off my shoulders so that I could concentrate on the task at hand.
After 5 minutes they returned, Alyssa looking sullen, and my husband with a big frown on his face.
"I can't figure out what she wants. She doesn't want to talk. She just shakes her head at every item I showed her. I give up."
I knelt down to make myself at the same eye level as Alyssa.
" Alyssa, I know you want something. But I would only know if you would tell me what it is. I promise you, I won't scold you. You have nothing to be afraid of."
Still she kept quiet.
I saw her eyes wandering to the jewellery collection behind me.
" How would you like a necklace?" I prodded her gently.
I saw a faint glimmer of hope in her eyes. I knew then that I had hit the nail right on the head.
I promised her I would get her a necklace the next day. Suddenly, she was all smiles & all traces of tantrum disappeared.
Sometimes we forget that the best way to communicate with our child is by talking to them. Just imagine ourselves in their shoes. Give them opportunity to talk. Kneel down to their eye level and REALLY look them in the eyes. Hear them out. Don't be so hasty in jumping to conclusions and punishing them. And stick our words when we say we won't over-react. Don't close the door of communication for our children. It's very, very precious. Once it's closed, it will be locked forever.
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