We were at the jewellery store about a year ago, searching for the perfect diamond ring for my brother to present to his true love on their upcoming solemnization. As we were admiring through the dazzling jewel collection, my daughter (at that time she was about 4years old), started tugging at me and calling out to me to get my attention. Soon it broils to a tantrum. I knew this could only mean one thing - she wants something.
My husband assumed she wanted candies from the shop next door. So he took her there to get her off my shoulders so that I could concentrate on the task at hand.
After 5 minutes they returned, Alyssa looking sullen, and my husband with a big frown on his face.
"I can't figure out what she wants. She doesn't want to talk. She just shakes her head at every item I showed her. I give up."
I knelt down to make myself at the same eye level as Alyssa.
" Alyssa, I know you want something. But I would only know if you would tell me what it is. I promise you, I won't scold you. You have nothing to be afraid of."
Still she kept quiet.
I saw her eyes wandering to the jewellery collection behind me.
" How would you like a necklace?" I prodded her gently.
I saw a faint glimmer of hope in her eyes. I knew then that I had hit the nail right on the head.
I promised her I would get her a necklace the next day. Suddenly, she was all smiles & all traces of tantrum disappeared.
Sometimes we forget that the best way to communicate with our child is by talking to them. Just imagine ourselves in their shoes. Give them opportunity to talk. Kneel down to their eye level and REALLY look them in the eyes. Hear them out. Don't be so hasty in jumping to conclusions and punishing them. And stick our words when we say we won't over-react. Don't close the door of communication for our children. It's very, very precious. Once it's closed, it will be locked forever.
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
Tuesday, January 24, 2017
How to gear up your kids for a doctor's visit
" Duduk diam! Jangan gerak2, nanti doktor tu cucuk!"
The 3 year-old boy looks at me with big round eyes, then starts screaming at the top of his lungs.
And there goes my golden opportunity to build rapport with my little patient :(.
How many times have I heard parents of young ones misusing my scary identity (i.e., the one with authority to poke a needle into their kid's bum) to threaten their children for their own short-term gain? Countless number of times!
As a doctor and mother of two, I have never EVER threatened my own two kids with the syringe and needle. No matter how they misbehave.
The reason is simple: doctors are good human beings. And you want your kids to be able to differentiate between good and bad people instead of "labelling" them blindly.
Associating doctors or nurses with everything negative would condition the kids' minds to think that these are bad people, so the next time they see a healthcare staff in white uniform or stethoscope pass by, they would automatically cower.
Here are a few tips to minimize their trauma the next time you need to take your little ones for a visit to the clinic:
1) Purchase a doctor toy kit and invite your child to role play. For example: "Alyssa, let's play 'doctor-doctor'. You be the doctor, mama jadi orang sakit.
Hmm, Dr Alyssa, I have a cough. Can u please check me? (Let her auscultate your chest with her toy stethoscope). And I have a sore throat. (Let her shine a torchlight down your throat). That way, they would have a "feel" of what is going on in a doctor's mind - nothing monstrous!
2) Let them watch Doc McStuffins over and over again :)
3) Instead of associating doctors with "cucuk", try describing them from a more positive angle. "Daniel, remember on our last visit to the clinic, the doctor gave you a sticker for being a brave boy. I was so proud of you!"
4) Buy story books with pictures that illustrates visits to the doctor. That way, the child knows what to anticipate during the visit.
The 3 year-old boy looks at me with big round eyes, then starts screaming at the top of his lungs.
And there goes my golden opportunity to build rapport with my little patient :(.
How many times have I heard parents of young ones misusing my scary identity (i.e., the one with authority to poke a needle into their kid's bum) to threaten their children for their own short-term gain? Countless number of times!
As a doctor and mother of two, I have never EVER threatened my own two kids with the syringe and needle. No matter how they misbehave.
The reason is simple: doctors are good human beings. And you want your kids to be able to differentiate between good and bad people instead of "labelling" them blindly.
Associating doctors or nurses with everything negative would condition the kids' minds to think that these are bad people, so the next time they see a healthcare staff in white uniform or stethoscope pass by, they would automatically cower.
Here are a few tips to minimize their trauma the next time you need to take your little ones for a visit to the clinic:
1) Purchase a doctor toy kit and invite your child to role play. For example: "Alyssa, let's play 'doctor-doctor'. You be the doctor, mama jadi orang sakit.
Hmm, Dr Alyssa, I have a cough. Can u please check me? (Let her auscultate your chest with her toy stethoscope). And I have a sore throat. (Let her shine a torchlight down your throat). That way, they would have a "feel" of what is going on in a doctor's mind - nothing monstrous!
2) Let them watch Doc McStuffins over and over again :)
3) Instead of associating doctors with "cucuk", try describing them from a more positive angle. "Daniel, remember on our last visit to the clinic, the doctor gave you a sticker for being a brave boy. I was so proud of you!"
4) Buy story books with pictures that illustrates visits to the doctor. That way, the child knows what to anticipate during the visit.
5) Offer them something to look forward to after the visit. As soon as you exit the consultation room, shower your child with praises, and plenty of hugs and kisses. Afterwards, take them to the playground or the ice-cream store for some goody treats.
How you indoctrinate your child from young will shape your child's judgement and perception of other people as they grow older. Teach them from a young age to regard everyone with respect and compassion, not unnecessary fear or hatred towards other innocent beings.
Hope this helps :). Share if you find this useful.
How you indoctrinate your child from young will shape your child's judgement and perception of other people as they grow older. Teach them from a young age to regard everyone with respect and compassion, not unnecessary fear or hatred towards other innocent beings.
Hope this helps :). Share if you find this useful.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)